The Bet

It started with a bet.

Doesn’t it always, with these kinda things? A nudge and a jeer, a snide remark and an implication of your courage? Tiny needles of outrage prickling over your skin, compelling you to do things you would never have even considered in any other frame of mind.

Peer pressure can be a damning force of motivation.

And so, covered in sweat caused by nervousness and exertion in equal parts, you entered the strange, fluorescently lit hallway you had found during your hiking trip. It was a spartan corridor; all you could tell was that it slanted downwards and turned right, buried into the side of the mountain, in the middle of a forgotten forest, far out in the wilderness of the North Country.

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3rd Entry: Hair Planes

Sunday 17/4/16 (Day 11 – Week 1)

Hair. One of the most visible indicators of a recruit (that and the face of a person shag beyond belief). It’s more than just a practical measure, to keep cool or to keep our helmets empty.

Symbolically, it’s also a kind of way to hammer in the idea of conformity. An army that is standardised functions more efficiently as a single unit.

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2nd Entry: Challenge

Wednesday 13/4/16 (Day 7 – Week 1)


That’s the lesson of the first seven days. NS is about challenging yourself, everyday. New drills, tougher PT, punishments and heat acclimation; you push your physical and mental limits everyday.

And you do it because it’s your duty, you do it for your country and your love ones.You do it because you should, and when you should do something, you have to do it too else what kind of man would you be?

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1st Entry

Monday 11/4/16 (Day 5 – Week 1)

The hardest thing about BMT so far is signing in a bloody box. Yeah, that’s pretty weird I know, but it’s true.

The first day was a little of a shock (I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard that many vulgarities in a day before but I got used to it real fast). Since then, there’ve been ups and downs.

Civilian life is pretty chill btw. Love it while you can (to any SG Boys out there).

PT has been pretty bad but everything takes some getting used to, I suppose. My head’s getting in the game but it’s taking its sweet time. If I was a sergeant, I’d make it do 20 pushups or smt.

People here are cool but there’ve been plenty of numbskulls too. Like insanely blur sotongs. Can’t blame them doe, I get pretty blur sometimes too.

Eh, it’s the beginning of Week 1. We’ll get there.

The Darkness

I like the darkness.
It feels almost shameful,
like a sin, to admit it,
but I do.

In the darkness,
there is a clarity,
an instinctive realness,
which brings everything
out into the open.

See, while others are blinded in it,
the darkness reveals all to me.
It brings out the worst in people,
the best as well,
and there I can see it all.

The darkness is my home, my demesne.

Shelter me in it,
give me strength,
heap upon me a mantle of absolute black
and pray your virtue outshines your flaws
in the darkest of rooms.


“The falling snow represented my current mood”
“The way it fell so slowly, almost suspended in the air”
“Almost like how I felt right now, wallowing in my grief”
“Lost without hope of any success”
“Left in stasis”
“But soon I realised something”
“Though I may glimpse a small portion of a bigger cycle”
“And feel despair”
“There was a significance to the fall”
“For without falling”
“The cycle would never occur”
“And a balance would never be established”
“If I was that snowflake”
“So be it”
“Better to be falling now”
“If one day I will rise to the clouds”
“And fall again
“To enrich the ground”
“To shield a poor soul from the heat”
“To be more than just a snowflake”